By Kelly Hynes
Ah weddings, nothing brings people together better like two people sharing
nuptials, throw in an ex or two and watch your elegant reception turn into a
reality TV show.
Are you in a position where your ex might be on your guest list?
Generally, inviting an ex to your wedding is seen as a no-no out of respect for
your fiances feelings. However, life sometimes throws these awkward situations
where your ex is now a close friend, is in a relationship with your best friend
or cousin, or is the parent of your children from your previous relationship.
This is where the common rule becomes complicated. If you are considering
inviting your ex to your wedding, think strongly about your reasons why.
Discuss inviting this person thoroughly with your fiance in private before you
send out any invitations. Encourage them to be totally honest about how they
feel about the presence of your ex at their wedding. Think about how you would
feel if they wanted to or felt they had to invite their ex, would it make your
day uncomfortable? What kind of history do you have with this person? What kind
of history does your fiance have with this person? Will it affect the behavior
of your guests? How will your family behave around your ex considering they
might have known them very well from the past? Will there be inappropriate jokes
about the one who got away or old stories about how you and your ex were caught
kissing behind the shed when you were younger. Inhibitions can be well lost
where alcohol is flowing and this may lead to conflict or feelings of loss and
regret. Some exs might be offended to be invited to a day of celebration with a
new person, so think about how much salt you might be unintentionally rubbing
in the wound. Every single case is different and there is no
straightforward logic to human relationships.
Respect your fiancés wishes as you wish them to respect yours. If you have an
understanding partner who is comfortable enough to be okay with your ex
attending your wedding, thats great. But it must be reinforced how huge this
expectation this is and means that the feelings of the person you are marrying
should come first.
Here are some tips to survive the day if you decide to invite your ex:
Your fiance should be your main focus throughout the day
Reassure your ex he/she can bring a guest
Dont dance with your ex
Pay attention to where you seat your ex, try not to seat them at primary
tables, unless its for child minding purposes. Even then it might be more
suitable to ask a family member.
